It is the last day of 2019 and I have been reflecting on this past year and the past decade. The themes for 2019 have been showing up and letting go. I have realized that it is so important to show up. I experienced this intensely when I went on tour in May. The connections I made with old friends and new fans were inspiring and hopeful. I had a house concert in May at a friends home where about 15 old high school friends showed up. I went to a church school for most of my high school years and my choses since then did not fit so well with that school- divorced lesbian- you know, those things. I was anxious before starting the house concert. Then I realized that all those who had come, knew my story already. I did a grounding exercise before performing and felt grateful for my friends who were interested and willing to hear what I had to share. Many resonated with my songs and stories in ways that surprised me. The host had his baby grand piano tuned for me and had friends arrive in the afternoon to move the piano to the best spot in the room. I showed up and reaped the benefits of doing so.
Whenever I question my desire to tour I am reminded of times like these.During this same tour, I met new folks in Kimberley BC where I hosted an open mic. There was a lot of fun had and it was the first time that I jammed on stage with other musicians- I was inspired by their enthusiasm and joy.
I have let go of a career and sold a house I owned for 15 years. This has allowed new things to enter. I am writing more prose as well as songs. I have written some songs that I love- a song for my sisters, one for a work friend, one about a longtime friend and one for a daughter I did not have. I have started taking voice lessons which has also been a great joy. I have to mention a three week trip to Montreal and England where I visited with my two sons and my granddaughter. I can not begin to express the love and connection I feel with this wee girl. What a privilege to be able to spend time with all of them.
The last joy has been recording the vocals on the four songs for my EP. It will be released this spring. The songs are the most personal that I have recorded so far and together with my memoir, it feels like they must be released into the world before I can start work on what is to come next. I continue to learn every day about how to show up for myself, how to set boundaries and how to let go of things that do not serve me.I wish these things for you as well and look forward to continue sharing with you my journey via written words and songs.