I was fortunate enough, a couple weeks ago, to go and spend a week at one of our provincial parks here in Saskatchewan. Cypress Hills Interprovincial park is close to where I grew up and is a place I often go for inspiration and rest. Before arriving at the park, I wondered if I knew what I was doing? Would I really find inspiration here? I was planning to write and finish some songs. As soon as I arrived and got unpacked I realized that I was right to come, that I did know what I was doing. I remembered how important it is to respect my own process. We each find creativity and inspiration in different ways. I find that generally I need lots of space in my life and with creativity it is the same thing. It continues to be something I need to learn over and over again- to respect myself, to listen to what I do need and realize that I do know.
In a similar vein, I have had several people tell me what it will be like when I retire. This comes from people who may or may not be retired. I confess that I don’t quite understand our need to think we know how it is for other people. What I have realized, as I get nearer to my last work day (as an RN), is that I had no idea what it was like for my wife when she was retiring. I saw her change a lot after she retired. I knew she was stressed at her job but had no real idea how stressed.
Yesterday, I finally looked at the SHEPP website- the folks who are managing my retirement money. I kept hesitating, not quite doing this last step on the road to retirement. I am going today to get the paperwork filled out so that I will be able to retire in just over three months. It felt overwhelming to realize that in such a short time I will be able to lay down this burden I have carried all these years- the burden and often joy of caring for others. My expectations of myself as a nurse have been so high- well I guess that makes sense since I have very high expectations of myself period.
Perhaps the lesson for me is to realize that I can’t really know what it is like for other people. My experience is different but I can bring kindness with me as I go through my day. May you find kindness, for yourself and others, as you venture through your day, week, month.
Yours in creativity and music,
Wanda G.
May your transition be smooth and joyful, may your first day of retirement be peaceful, and may you find for yourself a new path forward.
Thanks so much Laura!
Since you are a nurse, Wanda, you will understand more than most, that my blood pressure came way down after I retired. And it wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy a lot about my music teaching job- because a ton of it was fullfilling. But after a bunch of years, the stress on my body and emotions took a hit. Soooo much more relaxed now. It is different for everyone. But I think you’re gonna love it. And you will still be nursing…your creative self:)
Sorry for my slow response. Yes I can only imagine how much more relaxed I will be and as you say I will be nursing myself through my creative work. Thanks Carol for reading and responding ! I appreciate it a lot!!